I’ve been feeling crazier than usual. It is probably because I have discovered it is within my nature to constantly promote mental dissonance by splitting my feelings into opposites, without clearly deciding on a side. Surprisingly, I have only experienced this degree of discrepancy in one significant part of my life, being the main reason of my impatience. I am impatient because clearly, a vacillating state of mind has empoisoned my otherwise very decisive temperament. In other words, I am too scared to fully engage and commit wholeheartedly. I know the reason and I know how to solve it, but I do not wish to. Again, this is the reason of my craziness, not the fact that I am suffering from a chronic ambivalent condition or a serious case of “mixed feelings.” I am waiting for some(one)thing that pulls me out of this absent status. Not really.
A palpable, fluid and complex mixture of colored skeins flowing on an unframed canvas.
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